Sunday, April 12, 2015

Random Thoughts: Just Me

Character Defects

Ok, so this is so off-topic or off of what I normally write.  I just have been thinking lately about my own character defects.  I mean, we all have them.  There's always little quirks that we each have that we know are less than perfect.  Some we blatantly acknowledge, while others, not so much.  Perhaps we never recognize certain negative aspects to ourselves for whatever reason.

Lately though, I have come to discover that I have a special talent for cutting people off.  I don't mean during a conversation, although, I'm sure that I'm guilty of that too.  I'm talking about when I feel hurt by people, instead of fighting it out with them or confronting them, I just literally block them from my life.

Growing up, we moved quite often.  I at one time, counted thirteen different schools that I attended throughout my elementary, junior high and high school years,  It got me to thinking, when I recently again just "cut people out" of my life, that I wonder if all of that moving around created within me an abnormal defect.  An inability to form close, intimate relationships with women or really, anyone.

Throughout my life, I've literally just stopped talking to people.  For days, months, even years.  I don't know if it's a self-defense mechanism or what it is, but there's something about me that seriously lacks the ability to fight it out.  When it comes to "Fight or Flight", I flee.  

Perhaps now that I've recognized this defect, perhaps I'll be able to tackle it and figure out how to "Fix it".  I've always truly lacked deep friendships with people, oh I have friends.  I even have friends from childhood, but we don't go and hang out and grab a bite to eat every now and then.  

Note to self:  Form Intimate Friendships with Women.  And keep them.

I don't know, this is a completely random post.  Am I a totally abnormal person?  Or do you have some "defect" that bugs you?  

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